just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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