Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to make out with him forever
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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