What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
