My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
