she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
3 2 1 whiskey
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
