I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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