I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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