that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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