i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
