it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
