but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
