I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How naked do you want me to be?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
