pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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