Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
