i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
