I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
