i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
