Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
