Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
