how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
wow bdsm is so cute
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
