I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
