Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
