I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
