This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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