she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
