I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
