dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
