Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
