If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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