he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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