Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
