You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
