Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize