take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
