I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
