Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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