stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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