ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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