Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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