3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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