I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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