i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
