I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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