If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
