New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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