Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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