There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
