Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
