Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
