i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
