Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
