I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
