yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
