The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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