Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
