Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
