My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
