New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
