is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
