Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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