i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
