You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
