I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
